Being a "Total" Person

Some people accept everything they're given

Some others want more

Some people try hard to achieve their dreams

Some just wait for anything to come

Some people honestly work with their own ability

Some are filthy liars and cheaters

Which group do you belong to?

Rumah Idaman

Hey readers.....

Randomly, gw pengen cerita tentang rumah idaman gw :"

Dari dulu tuh gw pengeeeenn banget punya rumah di kawasan yang sepi.

to the point aja... maksud gw tengah hutan. hahaha agak aneh ya? emang pada dasarnya gw gak suka bising.

Gw juga selalu mimpi untuk punya rumah di tepi danau. Di sekelilingnya banyak pine trees dan bukit berundak-undak. Langitnya biru tapi gak kena terik matahari. udaranya sejuk kayak di puncak gitu, readers..... kira-kira begini nih

(sumber : http://akhunak.deviantart.com/art/Lake-House-184330140)

Asik banget kan...??

Di bayangan gw, kalo pagi-pagi suka ada kabut dingin. trus gw duduk di sofa sambil minum hot chocolate sama mein Mann ahahahahhaha #ngarep

Trus sorenya main canoe di danau. sweeet kan? :")

Dream House banget lah!

Asal gak ada Lochness aja di danaunya

hahahaha gadeenng gw gak takut lochness.

tapi kalo sama macan gunung mungkin iya. serem juga ya kalo ternyata ada hewan liar macem beruang atau....komodo? -.-

pokoknya gitu readers...

keep quiet and calm :)

Try

I may think that I have done my best.

But when I see the result,

I just know I have to try harder.

yes, I have to try harder.

Blue - I can

Aku dan Apa yang Akan Terjadi

Aku meyakini Allah berbuat apa yang dikehendaki-Nya. Aku meyakini sepenuhnya bahwa taqdirku di ada tangan-Nya dan telah ditulis jauh sebelum alam semesta ini diciptakan.

Seperti dalam hadits riwayat Tirmidzi :

"Jagalah Allah, maka pasti Allah menjagamu, jagalah Allah pasti kau akan menjumpai-Nya dihadapanmu. Apabila engkau meminta maka mintalah kepada Allah dan jika engkau meminta pertolongan maka mintalah pertolongan kepada Allah. Ketahuilah, seandainya suatu umat berkumpul untuk memberikan manfaat kepadamu maka mereka tidak bisa memberi manfaat tersebut kecuali yang telah ditakdirkan Allah untukmu dan apabila mereka berkumpul untuk memudharatkanmu (mencelakakanmu) maka mereka tidak bisa memadharatkanmu kecuali dengan apa-apa yang ditakdirkan oleh Allah atasmu, telah diangkat pena dan telah kering tinta"

(HR. Tirmidzi, dan dia berkata hadits hasan shohih).

Aku hanya berdoa agar selalu diberikan kekuatan dan kemampuan untuk memahami serta menerima apapun yang dikehendaki-Nya. Tanpa berkeluh kesah, tanpa terbesit prasangka buruk, kebencian, atau hal-hal lain yang menjauhkanku dari-Nya. Aku tahu Dia-lah Dzat yang Maha Adil. Dan Dia tidak akan pernah mendzhalimi hamba-hamba-Nya.

(QS. Al-Qamar 54:10)

Bismillah...

The Last February's Random Day..!!

Hey readers, kali ini gw mau share quote yang gw temuin pas ulangan bahasa

masih kurang jelas? nih...

yup, emas masih tetep emas dimana pun dia berada. Begitu juga dengan manusia. Menurut gw, arti pepatah ini tuh manusia mau ditempatin dimana pun juga kalo emang dasarnya baik, akan tetap baik. sesulit dan sejelek apapun keadaannya. see the point?

February's Third Random Day! - Untitled

Pergilah awan kelabu!

Cukup kau selimutiku dalam dingin

Sesak sudah kutahan nafas ini

Sekarang aku tak mau sembunyi

Untukmu yang selalu memikirkanku

dari kecil jari-jemariku

hingga luas pemikiranku

dan besar angan-anganku

Aku tak pernah berharap sang bintang padam

Tak juga berdoa turunnya hujan

Aku selalu mecoba melukiskan senyum di bibirmu

pada setiap nafas yang kuhembuskan

Wahai bidadari surga!

yang kelembutannya tak pernah sirna

Aku pun tak pernah ingin membuatmu membelalakan mata

atau menghadirkan sejuta tanya

Kini zamanmu telah lalu

Berganti dengan buah peluhmu

Bagaimana mungkin aku bisa menyalahkanmu?

Sedang akulah saksi semua pengorbananmu?

Aku tak ingin larut dalam waktu lampau

atau tenggelam dalam tangis penyesalan

tapi setiap rangsang sarafku

dan tetes air mataku

Tak dapat kubendung mendengar nada kekecewaanmu

yang tercermin pada matamu yang sayu

Aku tak menyalahkan mereka yang mencelaku

Aku sendiri memaki diri ini

Aku benci jiwaku yang rapuh

Untuk apa aku menutup-nutupi?

Biarlah mereka menganggapku sebagai angin

yang datang dan pergi

tanpa arti

February's Second Random Day..!!

haloooo

Hari ini mau cerita random. Jadi ada suatu ide yang udah gw pikirin sekitar 3 tahun yang lalu. Namun, gak pernah kesempetan buat gw tulis. Sebenernya ini kisah nyata yang terjadi sama gw. Entah karena sering nonton anime shoujou atau apa, otak gw nge-improvisasi sendiri konflik yang tadinya kecil menjadi sebuah kisah sinetron -.-

Idenya simple kok tapi gw suka hahaha (pede mode : on)

Alurnya gini :

1. Ada seorang gadis kecil, usianya 10 tahun. Dia ikut semacam lomba gitu. Awalnya gw bingung kira-kira lomba apa yang jadi benang merahnya. Gak mungkin kan mau nyeplak persis sama realita? akhirnya setelah mikir-mikir, gw rasa lomba puisi cocok banget.

2. Si gadis cilik ini suka banget puisi makanya dia berusaha keras untuk menang. Akhirnya terciptalah sebuah puisi yang bagus dari segi diksinya.

3. Di antara beratus-ratus peserta yang mengikuti lomba itu, ada seorang anak laki-laki yang doyan puisi juga. Puisinya bagus tapi lebih menonjol pada konten dan penyimbolan.

4. Ketika pengumuman, dari 5 orang pemenang juara 1,2,3,4, dan 5 mereka berdua termasuk di antaranya. Si bocah dapet juara 1, sementara si gadis harus puas di posisi 2. Walaupun begitu, mereka berdua sama-sama senang karena keduanya mendapatkan penghargaan yang spesial. Yaitu "best diction" untuk si bocah dan "best content" untuk si gadis. (hahaha ngaco abis ya gw).

Pulanglah mereka ke rumah masing2 membawa piala yang mirip bentuknya itu.

5. Beberapa minggu setelah perlombaan, penilaian juri diupload di website. si gadis ngeliat dan terperangahlah ia. Ternyata seharusnya ia dapet penghargaan "best diction", bukan "best content". Lalu ia pandangi piala berukirkan "best content" pada bagian depannya itu. Piala yang bukan kepunyaannya, tapi milik seorang bocah di luar sana. Masalah ini gak pernah dipikirkan oleh keduanya lagi. Namun, hobi dan kegemaran mereka akan puisi masih melekat hingga mereka dewasa.

6. Nah di sini konflik nya mulai memuncak hehehhe... Jadi, mereka berdua udah beranjak gede. Udah kuliah ceritanya. Singkatnya, mereka kuliah di fakultas yang sama. Hobi mereka untuk menulis puisi berlanjut hingga ke kampus. Mereka bergabung di organisasi hmm.. apa ya? organisasi sastra mungkin. Bergabung dengan pecinta puisi yang lainnya. Karya-karya baru jadi lebih deras mengalir. Keduanya jadi kenal deh.

7. Ternyata mereka berdua sekelompok dan ditugaskan untuk ngerjain suatu tugas. Mau gak mau, harus ada kumpul. Si gadisnya bersedia rumahnya dipake buat ngerjain tugas. akhirnya mereka setim berbondong-bondong ke rumah si gadis tersebut.

8. Jam 12 mereka istirahat untuk makan, nonton, dan segala macem. Si cowok tampak terdiam di sudut ruangan (bukan nyilet loh), memandangi piagam2 yang tergantung di dinding dan trophy2 yang berbaris rapi di dalam lemari kaca. Ada satu rupanya yang membuatnya bengong. Yaitu sebuah piala yang persis sama dengan piala yang dipajang di kamarnya. Piala yang setiap hari dipandangi nya dan bertanya-tanya siapa pemilik sebenarnya..

jeng jenggggg sampe situ aja haha kepanjangan. Lanjutannya...? kapan2 deh kalo ada ide. sinetron paraahh tapi poin 1-5 based on true story lhoo. wkwk..

see yaa!

February's Random Day...!!

Hey readers!

miss me?

Long time no see huh? (as if I have a regular reader .___. )

I've been busy as usual, I've even neglected my daily journal book! (pity her :(( ). Not because I'm getting bored of it. But I'm buried in a pile of works and assignments to do. Oh I wish I had more quality time for myself. (flash news: I was interested in documenting my whole life since I was 9 and since then, it became my hobby). I kinda miss making some handcrafts and art-stuffs like that. well, I can't ask for more :")

Anyway, some changes have happened. Now, I have my own A43E. Typing is more beneficial than handwriting, it saves more energy and time. So I prefer writing on this blog rather than my djb. (once again, poor her!). Considering the content, on this blog I'm limited by ethics code and other people's feelings. put simple, I obviously can't tell all the single details about my life. So, I'm gonna make it more like implicit. Don't expect something big, I'm just an amateur writer.

Let's get to the point. I think, once again I have to remind myself that life's never flat.

it never forms a stable graph. As in curves, life has a maximum and minimum point. I hope I'll never be on the maximum one, cause then I know I'll go down and never reach it again. I always think I'm on the lowest point. it helps me to get my spirit back. it can't get any worse, right?

I'm in a state of re-opening an old wound. A wound I've been trying to heal and is actually on a progress toward permanent recovery. Unfortunately, something scratched it opened again and it hurts more than it was. That reminds me of 2 years ago, when I felt exactly the same. yes, it is the same feeling I got back there. Perhaps, that's why I suffer some kind of "trauma" -which made me feel scared and sad when I first saw the news.

here's what I wrote. afashafa.blogspot.com/2010/11/gloomy-october.html

Sometimes I hate myself for being such a cry baby. Embarrassing yet, impressed of what myself wrote. I was so...brave to put on words like that. very very bold. hahahaha

Now, I've got my spirit back! yeah man. I will change. I have to.

*wave goodbye*

Arti Sebuah Angka

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End of 2011 (Bahasa)

halo readers.. udah lama nih gw gak ngepost, padahal lagi liburan tapi malah gak ada ide sama sekali. ya iyalah ya... orang gw liburan di rumah doang, parahnya main-main terus jadi gak bisa cerita banyak. Tapi ngeliat postingan temen-temen, jadi minder .___. yaudah deh gw mau "mencoba" cerita dan kali ini pake bahasa indonesia, mungkin seterus nya juga. baru ngaca kalo...*sigh* lanjutkan lah sendiri :(

Jadi.. Desember ini sebenernya banyak banget kejadian yang bersejarah dalam hidup gw. Mulai dari.. *ehm* umur gw yang alhamdulillah udah nyampe 17, which means.. gw udah punya KTP, udah "gede", udah bertanggung jawab atas diri gw sendiri (anehnya, gw malah merinding.... :s).

Trus.. hmm apalagi ya? oh iyaaa!! udah gw ceritain blm? gw punya keponakan yang lucccuuu immyuuutt gendyuutt banget.

namanya BABA..!! aneh ya? iya emang, krn itu bukan nama aslinya.. entah kenapa bapaknya manggil dia itu -_____-" Namanya sebenernya.. inisialnya RAP. Tapi gw gak mau ngupload fotonya. takut diculik :s Intinya dia suka banget bilang "akhoowww...akhoowww.." trus kalo malem suka MABES --> Marah Besar. Kalo teriak, jerit-jerit bikin kuping pengeng sampe takut dikira nyulik anak orang hahahhaa..
overall.. dia imyuutt dan..... *sigh* suka nangis kalo gw cium -,-"


hm.. apalagi yahh yang terjadi di Desember..?? hmm.. ohh kemaren, XII IPA G kumpul lohhh di rumahnya Ubit <3 baru pertama kali deh gw kumpul sekelas gituu *unyuuu*. Kompak banget rasanya.. iyalah kan udah kelas XII, harus kompak belajar dan saling bantu buat masuk PTN. Semoga kelas XII IPA G semua anaknya dapet perguruan tinggi yang diinginkan deh aamiiinn.. love yaaa guyss :")

That's all for now.
Have a bunch of movies to watch. Happy holiday, guys!!!

Failure and Success

Hey, readers..!!! It's December already and I've finished my final test. Which means, holiday's coming, finally. What a tiring week, full of papers and works and projects and a bunch of books to read. Gratefully, I survived it. fiuh..
here's something I wrote about 7 months ago, when I was in grade XI. I've always wanted to post it, but I always forgot. This time for sure.. enjoy

People think those are two opposite things. Just like dark and light or angels and demons, each side has different atmosphere. Success is the one people fight for. But failure...it is what they fear the most. Some of them might choose to end their lives because of it. Who doesn't? When ambitions are overpower and greed is driving, failure means losing everything.

I used to think that way. I was also enslaved by greed and ambitions. All that times I had been successful, until one horrible moment.. It was the first time I saw my dreams were shattered to pieces right in front of me. I got my feelings mixed. Anger, sad, tormented but overall disappointed. I thought my efforts are inversely proportional with the results. Has this thing ever come to you?

Months later, I forgot it and continued my life. But the pain was still hurt. I worked very hard so that I would not hurt again. I was succeeded. The results are perfect! I thought it was enough to payback my recent loss and turn the table.But, i let my guard down. Just a little time before the game is over, I ruined it all. And now, I am in great regret.

While in this state of re-opening the wound, something hit me on the head. It was a very touching and motivating story. Much like the same as my sad journey. Somehow I think it tells my life.

Just when I think life is unfair, I got a lesson. It's about failure and success. I forget that life is like a rolling wheel. One moment you're at the top, the next moment you're at the bottom. It is a cycle. You can neither always climbing up nor always falling down. Instead, it takes you up and down all the time.

There's also a fact that every great person has been through failure a lot. One said that the more failure you have, the more successful you'll become. In a brief, it doesn't make sense,right? But it does make sense when you don't quit trying and learn from your failure. Like a famous quote, "experience is the best teacher". So, when you fail, you better learn it. Why you fail and how you solve it. So when the same problem comes up, you know what to do.


I know I was wrong so I checked on myself. And I realize.. The most crucial thing I'm aware is I'm too obsessed with being perfect. I want everything to go the way I plan. Whatever I do, I must not fail and have to be the best of all. But we all know.. Human can't be so flawless.

When being the best is my only motive, I don't even remember what I'm struggling for. I lost my track, I don't know my real goal. Maybe if I hadn't been so greedy, I wouldn't have felt so much pain, I would have been so grateful of whatever I have.

Welcoming November

It's gonna be my first post in November.. Gosh, time really flies 0.O

Tomorrow we're having Iedul Adha. My big families are all going to come, so mom and the others (including me) have to prepare everything :)

Two important things happened in this week :
1. My jazz has been sold. I need quite a lot effort to forget her. She's been accompanying me for 7 YEARSSSS...!!!!!! hiks

2. My lovely sister is coming home..!! I've been missing her like, so bad T____T

And here's another words from me... enjoy :)

***

Langit Kelam

Deburan angin senja menghantam

menari di bawah cakram langit kelam

mengusik setiap insan, membangunkan jiwa

yang tumbuh seiring tetesan hujan awan senja

Separuh keping sirna

Separuh hati hampa

Tertegun menunggu sang purnama

merangkak di ujung cakrawala dunia

Tabir hitam mengoyak kegersangan,

kala mata ini kupejam

Lalu engkau berkilau bagai berlian

menyinari malamku yang kelam,

purnamaku....

Pertama Kali

Amarah bergelora, memecut setiap relung jiwa yang hampa

Hampa....ya, Sabtu itu..

Terpanaku melihatmu, melihat rangkaian kata penghancur segala

Teganya kau biarkan harapanku mengular, remukkan tubuhku

Percik air menghapus noda, pelipur lara

Satu cara hanyutkan semua angan kencana

Disaat kelam langit tak bernada

Kautersenyum tanpa dosa

Kau!! Teganya..

Liriklah sebuah bayangan pada cermin kaca!

Mengapa ia selalu terkurung dalam keadaan yang sama?

Hancurkan benteng kesombonganmu!

Percayailah aku!

Karena aku

sudah dewasa....

Another October

Readers.. It's been a year since I posted "Gloomy October". Recall that it was the most tiring and disappointing month in 2010. I was psychologically tormented due to degradation of my scores, school life, and many factors I can't mention. But gratefully, those things challenged me to revolve from my former state. Avoila! this is me, the stronger me than I used to be (People might see different but at least this is what I think about myself).

It hit me when I realize I've been taking hold of this organization for almost 1 year. 1 year seems short. Like, in a blink, suddenly it's passed. The more you enjoy it, the faster it'll fade.

Suddenly I remember all the time I spent together with sp46.. :")

I can't say we never argued and always lived peacefully together.

But I assure you those are memories made.

Guys, we've done our job. Though every project might not be perfect, still, we made an astonishing progress.

Now our time is over. Don't you realize?

I'll miss every jartel I got for the past 1 year.

We have to say goodbye to our current positions and hand it off to the next "on-duty" members. Regeneration of the old regime and displacing it with a new one, is the heart of an organization right? That's what we want to develop our beloved SP, right?

Every start has an end. Now, let's welcome our demise.

Let's Finish What Once We Started

our meeting in kaderisasi

diklat

preparing for our "makur"

my design for secretary's book's front page

SP going to XXI

have a chat at Pizza Hut

our "makur" invitation - first page

Makur invitation - second page

Makur invitation - third page

Those are photos taken from my phone. Only a little piece of the total. We love to take pictures.

I think, there are two things that can unite all of 46 members.. And they are : Rhesa and camera :)

Sorry for being melancholic.

Bertahan

Bertahan. Satu kata yang gampang diucapin*, tapi dilakuinnya susah setengah mati. (*kecuali buat mereka yang cadel -.-)

***

Suatu saat kau memulai sebuah perjalanan. Dengan tekad yang bulat, kau putuskan arah dan tujuanmu. Kau mulai melewati setapak demi setapak jalan yang telah kau pilih. Seberapa pun banyaknya halangan yang merintang, kau tak peduli. Tenagamu masih poll. Pandanganmu visioner, penuh mimpi.

***

Setengah perjalanan telah kau lalui. Beratus-ratus bukit telah kaudaki seolah menantang gravitasi bumi. Namun, sebanyak itu juga rasa sakit yang kau rasakan akibat terpeleset ke dalam jurang. Kini kau menimbang-nimbang realita penderitaan. Kau mulai berpikir, mungkin kau salah arah. Sejenak kau beristirahat, merenung. Terlintas kembali di otakmu, tujuan ketika kau masih bersiap di belakang garis start. Dan cahaya itu pun bersinar. Terang sekali.. hingga kau yakin, kau masih berada di jalur yang tepat.

***

Kau mengikuti cahaya itu. Menyusuri jalan yang tak berujung. Penuh pengharapan. "kapankah ini akan berakhir?" pikirmu. Cahaya itu melemah, seiring melapuknya tubuhmu dimakan usia. Pandanganmu mulai kabur. Kau tak lagi melihat cahaya yang dahulu menyempitkan pupilmu. Kau buta arah! Lalu kau bertanya kepada batu, pohon, awan, dan bintang manakah arah yang benar. Mereka semua melakukan hal yang sama. Bisu.

***

Hampir habis sabarmu. Untungnya, masih ada yang iba terhadapmu. Angin. Ia membelai rambutmu dengan lembut. Menyentuh pipimu yang tirus. sungguh anggun. Seolah berbisik, "aku tau" di telingamu. Lalu angin membawamu terbang. Semakin tinggi dan terus meninggi. Kini kau berbangga dan yakin bisa menggenggam dunia di tanganmu. Kau merasa sombong. Merasa layak dihormati. Hingga angin pun kesal. Dengan serta merta, ia menghempaskan kau ke dalam liuk pekat tornado. Seketika kau menatap kematian..

***

Readers, entah kenapa gw selalu paling gak bisa bikin ending yang bagus. padahal ending adalah bagian paling krusial ya? hiks.. trus sebenernya yang mau gue tumpahkan pada analogi ini bukan kayak di atas.. tapi lebih ke perjuangan lw ngelakuin semua tantangan demi mencapai mimpi lo. tapi...kayaknya... alam bawah sadar selalu mengarahkan gw untuk bikin cerita yang setipe. yaudah deh yaaa gw mau ngerjain thinkquest doloo.. blognya entar-entaran aja deh.. eh iya kalo ada yang mau ngelanjutin endingnya juga boleh. monggo...

In The Middle Of The Night

Readers..

It's 01.51 in the morning right now and I actually don't know what to write..

I'm not in the mood to complain about sucking things neither about love nor sort of "galau" things. No.

I fell asleep in the early night again...today... and I don't have any idea why I fall asleep so much lately. Perhaps I'm just too tired? Or because I barely do some exercise these days? who knows :p.

***

The point is, now I'm back alive and just don't know what to do in the middle of this night. No one in the house is still awake except for, perhaps.... my brother. I saw him still dwelling with his laptop when I just woke up 1 hour ago. I'm following my twitter time line, but it's just so empty. Like no one else there in any place outside the world is still awake #lebay. It's just too quiet here..making it kinda odd. Usually at this time, people still chattering around, right? (of course no. am i crazy) And I feel like... *sigh* galau-ing.. NOOOOOOO.......!! I've promised myself to have a better and brighter mind, seriously TT___TT

***

Let's talk about another topics. So, just some minutes ago, I scrolled down on my facebook home and I found a page about a japanese girl which was tortured to death for 44 days. Her name was Furuta Junko. Although I might have heard a little about her from my friends, I still shocked and ---I don't know kind of feeling it's called. Fear? or Anguish? what ever it is--- when I read the article. I read every line carefully and became afraid as I read more and more tortures that the three men ---I don't think they deserve to be called men, cause I don't even think they're human!! they're monsters--- did to her. It's just too sad for a girl like her, probably at my age when the tragedy happened. I can't imagine being in her position. Facing the three monsters in agony. No.. NOO...!! I hope I'll never get a part of scary life like that. I always pray to Allah to keep me away from unfortunate things :"" and Allah is the greatest protector, right?

If you care and interested in the story of furuta junko, you might want to read this :

http://netdetective.forumotion.net/t937-junko-furuta-story-wajib-baca-yang-bagi-yang-blom-tau

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Junko_Furuta

***

So.. here it goes.. As the time keeps pacing, never slows down.. I'm here facing my monitor. I don't know what to do and I feel empty as a part of my mind keep thinking about the tortured girl. I'm scared...... I really do..... and moreover, even worse.... I'm hungry =.= I haven't eaten dinner because I was fast asleep so early...

That's for now, I really should go to the kitchen and have some food. *krooyoookk krooyoook kroooyookk* Look, my stomach is shouting for food -.- bye

Suatu Pagi di Lantai 3, Pentogan

Udah jadi persepsi banyak orang bahwa hari Senin adalah hari yang puaalinggg menyebalkan #lebay. Banyak alasan sih yang bikin Senin jadi si doi yang kalo bisa gak usah dateng aja. pertama, mungkin karena 2 hari sebelum Senin adalah hari libur (sabtu dan minggu). Biasanya kalo abis libur, orang pada males sekolah apalagi kerja. hahaha maaf gue soktau padahal lulus sma aja belom. kedua, ada yang bilang bahwa sebenernya bukan hari Senin-nya yang bikin bete, tapi 5 hari berikutnya. yayaya.. you know, monday means starting a new week and a new week can be full of laughs or tears.

Dan ternyata hari Senin gue ini adalah bad day. Entah kenapa.. mungkin karena nilai kimia, dimana nilai bab terakhir cuma diambil dari 4 soal terakhir midtest. Jadi kalo salah 1 aja udah dapet 75 -....-. Gak berarti gue gak menyukuri. Gue bersyukur banget alhamdulillah.... But, this awkward feeling can't be destroyed and vanish easily, right?

So, I tried to calm myself down by sitting on a porch, right outside my classroom. I sat there for about 15 minutes. I looked down and found some students having P.E. class on the field. The sun didn't shine too bright and the wind gently stroke my cheek. That really worked! I calmed down.. and by the same time, I created this (in Bahasa Indonesia) :

Kain Sunyi

Di pinggir tebing kuberdiri

Memandangi dasar dengan ngeri

Sesekali bibir ini tersungging

Mencerna kata yang menyelinap,merasuki diri

Apa yang ia katakan?

Pikiranku jauh melayang

Dibawa angin terbang ke khayangan

Ia tergantung indah, hanya sebagai pajangan

Waktu, mengapa ia selalu kusesali?

Padahal kutahu ia tak bisa kembali

Apakah hidupku akan terus seperti ini?

Takdirkah yang telah menyurati?

Aku tak mau pusing mencari tahu

Aku hanya ingin terus berpacu

Menyaingi kecepatan sang waktu

Meski kutahu, ia akan menang, selalu...

Seiring berjalannya waktu, kerumunan itu pun pergi

meninggalkanku berlari sendiri

Peluh bercucuran membasahi dahi

bermandikan mentari yang setia menemani

Hanya satu yang kupinta

Dan yang selalu kuingin

Ia berada jauh di angkasa

16 tahun membeku dalam dingin

Lalu dia datang.. hidupnya terlalu datar dan sepi

Namun pikirannya, sepotong pun aku tak mengerti!

Gayanya yang seolah tak peduli

Membuatku ingin mengusirnya pergi

Seperti air yang selalu mengalir

Atau langit dengan awan yang terukir

Mungkin aku memang tak pantas untuk hal ini

Tapi dia.. dia yang selalu kucaci, membara seperti api!

Hidup memang tampak memihak sebelah

Terkadang membawamu setinggi gunung, lalu melemparmu ke lembah

Namun aku yakin dengan seluruh tumpah darah

Semuanya ada yang mengatur dan Dia tak pernah salah

Tapi, apakah hanya ini yang dapat kulakukan?

Memandangi tanah yang menyilaukan

Disaat mereka menari berduaan,

Aku tak berkutik dalam kesepian

Akankah kubiarkan ia melewatiku?

Seolah tubuh ini terikat benalu

Kencang pada sebuah tiang tak berbatu

Namun apa yang kulakukan? hanya diam menunggu

Akankah kubiarkan mimpi ini pergi?

Dan menyisakan raga yang tak berarti?

Tidak! Akan kubawa kembali emas ke genggaman pertiwi

Untuk sehelai kain yang melambai sunyi

:)

first in a life time

Dear readers, it is a good news.

This is the first time my room looks clean and ... spacious.

Don't get me wrong, I love cleaning. It's the woman part of me and I'm good at it. But, this time is different. I used to be very reluctant in throwing away my worn out stuffs. I wanted to keep every single things that would remind me of my past. Yeah, I was that kind of girl.

It seemed like yesterday my brain was... in a meticulous state...and I needed a comfortable room.

It only took 2 hours to clean up all the mess.

These are photos of my room after being cleaned up.

My Last Midterm Test in High School

First of all, I'd like to thank God, Alhamdulillah, that the mid semester test has finally ended. :) At first, I didn't consider it as a serious matter until P.E. theory aroused me from my unawareness.

why was I so unaware? Because you know, several days before it began, I just had a chance to take a deep breath after organizing the biggest event this year, 8schoolastic. But it was very close before midterm. And my mind was shouting for more and more breaks until the day finally came.

and why PE? When I was in grade XI, my former PE teacher never even dare to bother us with his test. It turned out, as I jumped into a higher grade, with my new PE teacher who wants to draw some attentions, the questions given are far more difficult. And the result is.. more than 90% students didn't pass the test.

well, that's a preface..

Finally I realized it was a mid term test. And I started to study. Each day I had maximum 2 subjects. Therefore, I always got home earlier and took the train. At home, I studied materials (mostly papers, problem sets or notes) for the next day, although I couldn't manage to learn them all because the lack of time. That's all I could get after studying until dawn. (whahaha I'm exaggerating). Actually, mostly until midnight. But when the subjects are very difficult, I set an alarm again before dawn (shubuh). I can't imagine If I didn't stay up late that days, I would have missed too many papers and books to read.

Everyday I put all the previous materials aside and brought new copies of materials for the next day. It's always been repeated during the midterm UNTIL..... (right now).....It creates a huge pile of papers and books, barely arranged. no no no, messily piled on the floor and on my desk.

Now, I feel like relaxing. I don't care what my room looks like right now. Probably like a crashed plane. I just want to have some rest after this long long long and exhausting marathon.

The Moon and The Star

I used to stare at the sky, but I had never been amazed by the moon or the stars. Why? They're two things that commonly used in a poem or poetry or worse, love letter. I like to read poems, but not err... too "galau" ones. When moon and stars are mentioned at the very beginning, I assure you that the whole story is telling "love" matter.

But this post is not.

The moon and the star, an analogy.

Dear stars...

My night probably won't be as beautiful as it is now, without you

No, I was wrong

It's not only me..but the whole citizens of this crazy city

We are tired by the day

And every night you come

to comfort us and make us stay

Stay.. in this crazy little life

Dear moon...

Why are you so graceful?

Making me so eager to steal your light

keeping it for myself, alone

Your light, they're not actually "yours"

But when you use it, you shine very bright

even brighter than the star.

The moon and the star..

they complement to each other

like bread and jam

like tea and sugar

like purines pairing with pyrimidines

I'd like to stare at them

Watching my dearest moon caring for the star

for the star is so careless

I hope you both will always be together

You're one of the reasons I laugh in life

Seeing you split up makes my heart torn apart

Dear moon, please continue taking care of the star :)

that's it, readers. It's not a poem. It's an...errr.. what ever it is.

anyway, I was inspired by my friends. And they're really..... like what I wrote above.

It's so funny and touching to see them :")

Once again I tell you, it's definitely not romance