Emotional Turbulence

Hey readers.

I can't figure out why my way of thinking opposites anyone else's.
I just think maybe I have finally found my true self.
I feel bad for hating something that I'm supposed to love.
And for loving something I am supposed to hate.

But I can't love something that I know is wrong
I can't love a thief
I can't love a lier
I don't want to be wounded by a sharp sword

I don't know why I'm being so cynical.
I never try to annoy anybody else
but right now, I feel like making everybody angry.
I want them to get angry at me.
I want to screw everything


what's got into me?


Sometimes I just want to smack everything down.
Tear them apart and throw them away.
I want to grin in victory
while watching them swallowing their pride
Admitting that I've been right all the time



Why can't I be like anyone
Who can keep their anger inside
and let it subside?
Why can't I be a good girl
Who doesn't rebel against nature?


And maybe because the demon
that has been sleeping all these years
finally ready to be aroused.

The Door's Once Again Wide Open

I have been turned down,
one and a time
I wasted my chance,
both consciously and unconsciously

I have been covering the truth
The truth that I buried deep down,
to kid myself so I won't feel guilty,
to shield them from worrying
Or

was it just my arrogant trick to look grand?


I say I don't like flowers
but I draw roses in my dreams
I swear that fire is cold
but fire lights up my dreams

And when I read that line
The next moment I started fantasizing my future
How does it feel?
To breathe the air I never taste
To step on the land I never see
Living a dream that once was burning?

And I see the green light ignites
I'm stepping on the throttle