From Your Little Girl (4)

They say she always disliked you
She bent back and forth
trying to writhe out of your grip
And she'd scream and whine with all her breath
when you held her close to your ribs

Time flies
The girl who was the height of your waist
is now chasing her own dreams

If She were a river,
you'd definitely be the ocean,
a place where she'd eventually drain herself
No matter where she goes,
or what she does.

It's just that sometimes you forget
that a butterfly was once an ugly caterpillar
a rainbow always comes after rain
and a diamond is made from carbon

The pressure you put inappropriately
will slowly break the things within

Flight of Ideas; Being an Observer, a Good Listener, and so on

People say that introverts observe their surroundings a lot. Indeed, I can't agree more. I --and also everyone-- am actually an ambivert, but one side is usually much stronger than the other. Me, I tend to be an introvert. So, yes, I observe a lot. When I observe something, it's like I'm talking to myself.. in my head.

In a given time, I can have so many questions and comments popping up in my head that I can barely concentrate on what I'm doing. Like this, for example.. I've been planning to write an article about it for a long time and I can't concentrate on finishing my LTM before doing so.

Because of these terrible sounds inside my head (I swear to you, it's not an auditory hallucination, I'm not psychotic!) sometimes I lose track of what people are telling me. And then voila.. my family label me as a bad listener, sometimes telmi #duh.

But... I do not deny that.

You know, to be a good doctor, you have to be a good listener. So far, I still am a bad listener and I'm ashamed of it. And so I started practicing. Thankfully, in KKD (keterampilan klinik dasar or basic clinical competence) we, medstudents, are taught about how to conduct a qualified interview or anamnesis. We're taught to build rapport with patients, make the conversation flow naturally, and dig information out of the patients so we can analyze and diagnose their illness more accurately. Never thought that I'd study this kind of thing before I entered medical school. No regrets, though. So far it's really interesting and very applicable.

Here are some holes in my communication skill:

1. Names
I used to forget people's names right after they mention it! I used to think that asking someone's name was simply an obligatory question before you start a conversation with somebody. So, when my partner mention their name, instead of listening to it, I was busy managing my facial expression or thinking about what question I should ask next. But now I know that I am totally doing it wrong. Remembering names is REALLY important. When you call your partner by their names, you have done the first step of building rapport with them.

--> To overcome this problem, I repeat their names after they mention it. And keep calling them by their name, not only 'bu', 'pak' or 'mbak' but 'bu XXX', 'pak YYY' or 'mbak AAA'


2. Details
By the way.. don't you know that our brain can discriminate important from non important facts of every sensory input we receive each time?  Sometimes I think that my brain needs an extra training about which ones are the important things and which ones are not.

For example.
"Dek, mama mau pergi yaa..."
"ohh iya ma, kapan? kemana?"
"mau ke rumah nenek. nanti lah, gak sekarang.. jam 2. mama mau ngambil kue dari bude kan kemarin bude jualan."

Idk, but my brain is over selective, that I only remember :
1. mama mau pergi ke rumah nenek,
2. nggak sekarang.
the rests are not important because it's none of my business.

But..... then, the next day when I talk to my mom again....
*buka kulkas* "wah.. ada blackforest.. dari siapa ma?"
"dari bude, dek"
"ohh... lah kapan bude kemari?"
"dek, kan kemarin mama ke rumah nenek buat ngambil titipan"

and I was like.. damn, I didn't pay attention to that!

--> what I do now, is simply reminding myself that I should focus on my partner when they're speaking. I must not hurriedly say "okay" or reply something before I really get what they're talking about. Looking at their face while they're talking can help a bit. Sometimes I reflect their ideas too. Anyway, I'm still learning to do it.

There are some other more, but..
I have to finish my LTM!
^___^

Goodbye To You

Hello, readers.. or may I say stalkers?

Glad that I'm finally able to post an article again after a long vacant period!

It may be illogical, may also be irrational, but i don't care. I usually can help myself not to talk about it. (Mom, Dad, Ken, Towi I hope you don't read this post. But if by chance you do, please don't laugh at me and don't bring this topic up whenever we talk)

First of all, I must admit that having someone watching my move is definitely making me clumsy and giving me goosebumps.

But after thinking much about it, why should I be hesitant to write my feelings again? (No, Sar, you shouldn't, unless they proofread your grammar structure cause you mess up a lot :p). The thing is, I won't let anyone change the way I am without my permission. I don't want to change how I think just to please anybody. It makes me feel like a hippocrate  hypocrite. Besides, I have to practice my own preach about honesty, my pride just won't let me betray it.

-------------------------------------------------------oo0oo-------------------------------------------------------


Dear stranger, 
did you know?
It was my first time
The first time I took a step out of the cage
without anyone to watch me,
nor someone to warn me,
I let myself unguarded 
as I always will.

Did you know?
I was one step ahead when you saw me
When you were far in the distance
I noticed first,
physically as well as psychologically
in a way that I believed 
we'd see again in some other time
in the future, for sure.

when you think you know anything about me,
Just keep in mind that I always one step ahead.
So don't lie
Cause I can tell