My Calling

Hey readers, I'm having holiday. Started last Wednesday and about to end soon, that is next Thursday. Means that I only have 2 days left and the fact is that I haven't done anything, yet.

I wonder why everytime I'm on holiday, I turn into a garbage? useless person? All I do is watch, or being lazy on bed, or sing along. and I hate that. but everytime I want to do something good, all I think is "I'll do it later".

Forget about that, I'm gonna tell you how my holiday was on the past 3 days. So, I watched "Tru Calling". A series that I used to watched when I was 10, but didn't fully understand and also didn't have a chance to watch it, entirely. It is a great TV shows actually. One of my bests. I can say it beats ER on my favourite list. But, one thing that I extremely hate from Tru calling is that it didn't end properly. It left me hanging with the unsolved problems. The fact that Tru hadn't known that Jack and Carrie worked with her father makes life seems unfair. The bad always won, and the good always lose. The truth had never been revealed but Tru deserved it! so do we, who watch it! damn it. I felt like disappointed right now. and I think maybe I shouldn't have watched it. I wish they continued filming it. :((

Well readers, I kinda make Tru someone I look up to. She's smart, kind, and caring. if Tru had her calling to save someone's life, then probably mine is to safe my own future. thanks to Tru, she'd made me learn a valuable lesson.
that's all for now

My Forgotten Birthday :)

Well,, I must admit that I don't celebrate Birthdays...

But just some minutes ago I suddenly wanted to look at my facebook profile. I scrolled down and down until I reach a page which contains birthday wishes for me.

My birthday is on 17th of December and it was long ago. But I just had a chance to read them all today,that is 4 months after my birthday! You know why? The day I turned into 16, I got my report book. And it was disappointing. I cried all day, I didn't even think about my birthday in short, I was too busy crying. yep, who knows that your birthday could turn out into your worst day ever?

Anyway, now I have read them all. I haven't even said "thank you" hahha (besides, I don't celebrate birthday). I laughed and I really touched that my friends, my old friends, they remembered and sent me birthday wishes! I thought I was no one, someone unimportant. But then I saw many of my friends -whom I didn't even get along each other- congratulated me.. I'm touched :")


Thanks everyone.. Barakallahufik...

Scores Degradation

I studied all night long but why didn't I get good scores? hiks hiks
I think I could do all the exercises that my teacher gave me, but in the end, my test score still bad.
I paid all my attentions to the teacher in the class, I did all the homeworks, I studied till late night, but those things didn't seem to help me answering the questions. And the result was just bad as usual.

I'm sadddd... I had tried so hard, the other student didn't even do all the homeworks, they didn't even pay attention to the teachers, but they could get good scores. Does it have something to do with my brain? or Are they just too genius? AAaaa I can't get it.

But one thing I always believe, Allah is fair.

I Realized ...

Hey readerrrss
long time no post, sorry for the long absence.
This time's topic is "I realized...."
yeah, many things happened in the last 1 month.
All in a month, 3 of my friends died.. :( and all of them died because of sick. Tragically, 2 of them had cancer and tumour. Now I begin to realize "more" that I also could die unpredictably.

I realized that life is sooo short and it is not eternal. Somehow, there will be an 'afterlife' world, something in Islam we call "akhirat", which is eternal. A place where you can feel the worst Pain ever or the best Pleasure ever. It's depend on what you do when you live.

Ironically, looking back to what I've been doing for 15 years.. I don't think I've been a good girl. I want to change, but why is it so difficult? I can't watch over my mouth. Sometimes I hurt people with it or with my attitude.

After I look at this blog, I also realized that this blog is mostly garbage -___-. I'm sorry.... I really wanna be useful. And why am I being so gushy lately?? It's embarrassing, indeed.

well, I hope this post could inspire you, :")