Inspiration

It's funny how I just realized by now that you've always been my inspiration. Everything that I do, you are the reason for it, you are the driving force. I try my best to meet your expectation. why? I don't know,maybe because I'm happy to see the curve of your lips. 

It's amazing how a simple no from you can break my tears. I almost believe that you are my ticking bomb. When you explode, you always seem to make things worse. But they say the one who can hurt you the most is the one you love the most. Maybe it's because I love you too much that whatever you say matters a lot.

But you only see a rebel, which makes me really look down on me. And your tacit mouth leaves too much scars, it'll take times to heal. Right now I'm messing up, can't you see? 

No matter how hard I try, I know I'll never be your favorite. So I always hope that I'll finally meet someone who cares as much as you do. One whom I can run to, listen to every rubbish that comes out of my careless mouth, and help me put together the scratches of my tangled mind. 

Our bond is just so confusing. I don't understand how I can hate you as strong as I love you, at the same time. All those writings about you can't help me get through this and certainly can't fix the broken strings between us. 

I just hope one day I get to see that curve without me even trying.

From Your Little Girl (3)

Shiver

Dear readers...

Today was just an ordinary day.

Tomorrow I'll be starting the last module in this semester. Time flies so fast here..phew. It's good that I haven't felt too much pressure so far. I always pray for the best.

--------------- oOo ---------------

I never have any problem with being alone. You teach me how to survive by my own. You said to trust no one and so I live with that conviction. There comes time when I have to open my arms, to put others before my own. But how am I supposed to react? When all my life has been dedicated to me. How am I supposed to master altruism? When all I ever learn is egoism? Everyday I try to figure out

what goes wrong with what I 'm doing, which step that I'm missing. At this point, right now, it's just really hard not to hate this reflection off the mirror. Does this sound normal at all?

Who am I anyway..

to deserve your attention.

From Your Little Girl (2)

Mencari Jati Diri

Dear readers,

Kalau aku sebut Mohammad Ali, tinju yang kaupikir
Jika aku sebut Bill Gates, lambang Microsoft seketika muncul
Ya, tinju dan Microsoft adalah kata yang selalu mengiringi nama mereka

Tapi, jika kusebut namamu, apa yang orang pikir?
Jika orang menyebut namaku, apa yang kaupikir?



Stereotype [n]
fixed idea of what sb/sth is like



Setiap orang memiliki stereotype, sesuatu yang paling baik ia lakukan
Sampai-sampai orang lain selalu mengingatnya,
Sampai-sampai orang lain mengencapnya dengan sesuatu itu

Dan aku ingin stereotype orang terhadapku
adalah sesuatu hal yang paling aku gemari
satu hal yang paling bisa kulakukan

Tetapi bahkan hingga saat ini aku masih mencari
One thing that I'm best at

Hingga Akhir Hayat

Ilmu-Mu terlalu luas untuk kupahami,
terlalu dalam untuk kuselami
Tetapi semakin kumenyusurinya,
semakin aku terkesima dibuatnya
semakin aku terpaut padanya
Untuk itu, mudahkan aku dalam mempelajari ilmu-Mu
Ringankan aku dalam mengamalkan ilmu

"Wahai Dzat Yang Maha Memiliki Ilmu, berikanlah aku ilmu yang bermanfaat, rizqi yang halal, dan amalan yang diterima"

Balance

When a man stands up for himself

A conductor of his own symphony

where tragedy and triumph play in harmony

A man behind the wheel

The strongest storm can't break his will

For he has always been a soloist,

a man whose mind I can't decode,

solving the puzzle that life untold

is like living in a mine of gold.

For he is the center of my gravity

I look at him and it makes me worry

Will I ever be a part of your destiny?

Or will I just get lost in my own story?

Will I ever make room for somebody?

Am I willing to disturb my tone with your melody?

I wish I could just skip this phase

But it won't change whom I'll embrace

---------------------------------------------------------o0o-------------------------------------------------------------

Not quite a love verse

It's just some thinking that crossed my mind while studying human reproductive system

Wish me success for tomorrow's exam!