Tomorrow

Hi readers....

It's been a week since SNMPTN. It doesn't mean I can rest, though. I still have to work hard, just in case something unpredictable happens. Well, I hope nothing goes wrong. I hope I get accepted in a state university through SNMPTN.

Lately, I've been thinking. Are all these efforts worth-doing? Because I'm afraid what I've been doing all this time is just a waste of time. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I want to pretend like I don't care about a single thing of my future or what I'll be doing tomorrow, but I cant! No matter how people tell me to stop worrying, I can't order my brain to stop thinking about it! Sometimes I feel like exploding and my head will start beating. I know it's not a good habit to keep but I don't think I ever gonna be able to get rid of it. I kinda inherit it from my father. It's not that I blame him. No.

Every time I think about what I've been doing all this time, my eyes wet. With the pain I bear, do I still not have a bigger chance to have a better place? do I still not deserve to get a proper result? What if the terms applied for me is "hard work is inversely proportional to the result?". I know I may sound arrogant for thinking that I deserve more than anyone else. Yes, I know it's also selfish. You may also start to hate me after reading this post. I know the consequences.

But I feel miserable and I don't want to hold it much longer. I wanna go to an ocean and scream out loud.


But I have to endure it. I have to... just a little bit longer.. endure it!
Cause I believe in happy endings
and I believe in Allah's miracles.