Inadequate

Lately my heart feels a little heavy from letting so many people down. Though I'm not sure if those people care about me. Maybe my mind is playing trick. Maybe I'm too narcissistic, thinking that those people care, when they're actually just think of me as their KPI. 

But here I am, mourning yet another mistake that I made. I overlooked the details because I was too focus on fixing my pride. Maybe I care too much of what other people say, am I? I used to care about the little things, but why did I not this time? How did I let this thing happened under my watch? This is a shameful, shameful mistake. Could I even forgive myself?

I think I'm losing myself day by day. Have I lost my edge? Cause I don't feel like the person I used to know, the girl who was very sharp and confident. Where is she now? Where did I go wrong? Somewhere along this journey, she is lost. Maybe somewhere along the journey I mistook softness with weakness. I think he's right, when I soften, I become weak. 

They say the first step to healing is acknowledging. It's hard to say it out loud, but Lupine hear me out

I admit my defeat

For now, and I hope not for long. I admit that I let my guard down. This identity crisis needs fixing and fixing needs time. But maybe this is just what I needed so I won't spiral down this bad habit further. 

I'm sorry, I wish I was much better, but I'm not

I won't quit, I'm too stubborn for it

I just need you to bear with me a while longer, if you really care