Perhaps this semester is the most important because it decides who deserves SNMPTN Undangan form. And everybody is like... MAD. The atmosphere is extremely tense and uncomfortable. You know, I've participated in many competitions, but I never like to compete. I hate competitions. I hate when there's a side to win and the other has to lose.
When I was in holiday in June, I'd always wanted to fast forward the time into living as a twelfth grader. I was so eager to start a new page of my life. Thought I could do better and I actually wanted to, as soon as possible, improve my scores. But the fact is quite the opposite.
The facts that every lessons are difficult and every students have motivated themselves then transformed into a machine -which thinks as fast as a calculator and works as long as a computer with no sense of boredom or fatigue- make me think twice over my eagerness to write a flawless golden page in my life's history.
Every time I feel down like this, I always remember what my father said. He said,"Just run as fast as you can without looking at your opponents. What you need to do is try your best and enjoy every single moment. And in the end, you have to resign it to Allah Azza wa jalla. Because nothing can stop what Allah wants. If Allah wants to give you something, then no one can hamper it. Vice versa, if Allah doesn't want to give you something, then you won't get it no matter how hard you try."
With this new beginning.. I hope I can survive. I just have to try. At least try.. About the result... we'll see next year.
- This is story of a student who's worrying her future.
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