when all feelings are collided

I'm gonna be a vice leader somehow,
but I'm gonna leave it for a while,
All the things I have to catch on,
old memories bursting out of my mind,
the uneasy feelings fill me,
the tears I've been holding back,
All of these things remind me that I'm still alive. this is life and so I have to go through it.

dear Mr. X, what's your intention? Is it true what you've been saying about? Are you just trying to make some sensations?
dear Mr. X, thanks for your support. but i don't think I deserve you. perhaps not yet.
dear Mr. X, whatever you want to do, please don't disappoint me.