The Door's Wide Open

The World is waiting to be explored

Even though right now it's not my time..
I'm sure there'll come the time when I can seize it
And start my own adventure

From Your Little Girl

I wonder,
If it wasn't me
If it was someone else like my friend, for example

would the condition still be the same?
would you still be disappointed like this?
or would you be at ease right now, laughing and talking instead of yelling?
or would your voice be much louder and your tone be much harsher than just now?

If that rule applies as you describe it, and yes I believe it does,
for that is one thing we both agree on
then I may say..
How fortunate those people who have someone quite the opposite of you
How fortunate they are to be given consent easily without having to be hurt

Though I can say cruel things like that, I don't want you to hear it
Cause it will tear you apart as much as it will tear me if the condition is reversed
How would it not?
For when I look at you, I'm seeing myself in different time
Part of you live inside me and I'm very well aware about it

This is my destiny
I've been chosen correctly, it is neither an error nor a misfortune
I'm qualified enough, I have the ability that no one else has
No matter how much I think about this fate
I can't come up with a better explanation

I'm carrying off a duty
A fine and honor duty to change you
I'm trusted to accomplish it, even by my former competitors

One day I'll let you know how I feel
I'll pour it out but in a proper way
I'll make it up to you someday
Cause I want to break this circle

Emigrating

Hello readers..


Soo... I was checking up for recent updates on my facebook home page when I found an article posted by my former Bahasa Indonesia teacher. Honestly, it wasn't the article that caught my attention, but his profile picture. So, I browsed his photo albums. (I guess, it has become one of my habit to stalk photos on facebook) :p. so what..

It turned out that he's been living in Singapore for quite a long time. Shocking, it was, as I never thought he'd leave Indonesia. He doesn't seem like a person who wants to stay abroad....

Anyway...speaking about staying abroad..
Did you know? when I was a high school student, I've always wanted to study abroad. I wanted to study in Europe. German was the most considerable option. Though I searched for fine qualified international medical university, I knew it's gonna be hard as well as impossible for me to get accepted, because I never studied A level or stuffs, I never try to write motivational letter or asked my teacher to write letter of recommendation. It's definitely impossible. So I gave up my dream instead. Maybe if I have a chance later on, I'll try to get myself a scholarship.

randomly selected photo from google.com of a library building in German

I hoped so much that I'd have the opportunity to go to Europe. I've seen many photos of the country. They have every facilities that's completely different than here in Indonesia. It's like you can live in peace there. People obey the rules. Everything is very well-controlled. No air pollution, no garbage everywhere.

As I get older and maturer, I know that I probably was wrong.

It's true, they offer facilities with higher technology. It's true that the people there have better manners and behaviors than Indonesians. But, they don't have something I can't live peacefully without.

They're not Moslem countries. Maybe you'll think "what's the big deal about it?"

of course it's a very BIG DEAL

First of all, it's very uncomfortable being unable to hear Adzan echoing in the city. Secondly, you have to ask whether your food contains pork, alcohol, or something like that every time you eat in a restaurant. It's very troublesome, don't you think? If I were there, I might end up eating instant noodles everyday hahaha.. Another thing is their custom. They're not bound to wear hijab or closed clothing. See? it's easy for you to see their aurat and stain your innocent vision. (ciyeeeee)

That's not the kind of life I want to have. I'd rather live here even though Jakarta gets me on my nerve almost every morning and makes me want to go crazy. I'm destined to be born and live here because Allah knows it suits me best. *heaven's choir backsound* If someday I get really sick of Jakarta and want to emigrate, I'm considering moving out to Brunai. A place with similar atmosphere and culture, only better.

Random photo from google.com of Brunai traffic

Don't get the wrong idea. It's not that I don't love my own country.. It's just that sometimes people have to hijrah to be a better person, don't you agree?

Forgiving Boy

Assalamu'alaykum, readers
First of all, Happy Ramadhan Mubarak!!!


So happy that I eventually get to write again ^___^
I'm in the middle of the longest holiday throughout 6 years of education in this university.

Some things have changed, some other remains. I'll start with the remaining first. The thing is... that FKUI 2012 will NOT study in Depok. Which means... I have to keep struggling and competing for a space in the train to go home (sadly). I even bought CommuterLine Multitrip E-Ticket just in case I have to rely on CL as the main transportation.

Multitrip e-ticket

Apart from its fastness and cheap fare, CL is actually not a very comfortable mode of transportation. You hardly get a space to even just stand. It's fully-loaded with a massive number of commuters from Depok, Bogor and its surrounding. Moreover, the passengers' manner are terrible. If one afternoon you decide to get the train home, you'll see how selfish and ignorant they are.

Now for the changed thing,  as the title implies, I'd like to tell you about my precious little monster, Apacaaa *party* *dancing* 

Apaca is my nephew. He is turning 2 years old this September. He has a very cute face as well as voice. Apaca is a very kind boy. Whenever he receives something from other people, he says thank you. Whenever he encounters someone (or in rare cases, something) on his way, he says "pelmisii". One day, he wanted to ride on his baby walker. He asked me to get him into it. I was playing Line POP on my sister's tab when suddenly he said, "pelmisii sisiir....". I turned around and found a comb in front of the baby walker he's riding on. I picked it up and he continued walking around.

Apaca in his baby walker

Babies are curious little creatures. They tend to try everything, ask anything, and told you to do unusual things for them. One day I assisted him drawing abstract messed-up thread. Suddenly, he thrust a marker to me and said, "gambal balon meletus, tante Sarah". I drew one as best as I could and showed it to him. He looked at it and ask me to draw another thing. This time, he asked me to draw "balon kempes". what thee?!

Apaca reaally loves automotive. He memorizes so many car types, Livina, Jazz, Freed, Serena, Juke, etc. He can even distinguish avanza and xenia correctly! Whenever he comes to our house, he always ask me or my sister to accompany him to the driver's seat. He loves to steer the wheels. So excited with wheels and stuffs that he loves to watch "Wheels on The Bus". But my family thinks he should not be too familiar with music, so we cut it down. 

mobil-mobilan

Apaca is a kind boy. He shares his pleasures with everyone he loves. One day, he wanted to drink teh POCI. I made one for him and helped him to sip it. Then he said, "Tante Sarah minum teh poci juga". uu baiknya <3 p="">
Sometimes, my sister and I being too overwhelmed by his cuteness that we do things which annoy or scare him. Like, we'd love to hold him tight, tickle him, or roll him up with blankets like sushi until he whimper or moan. Don't get the wrong idea, we're not that violent cinderella-stepsister type.

Even though we've done something like that, in the end, Apaca will still play with us. He still smiles and shares us his story. He forgives us for doing such annoying things like I said before. His attitude is still the same. That's what makes us love him soo much.

No matter how hard we try to find his mistakes or weakness, we can never hate Apaca. Love you, anak jempol.

Love What You Do and Do What You Love

Here's the story. Today, I attended Prof Bruce -a researcher, a doctor, as well as a lecturer from Australia- guest lecture about why we do medical research. I bet almost anyone will turn their face away instantly after hearing the word "research". Most of us think that research is boring, like I do. But when he delivered his speech, research in his world seemed to be so fun and easy. 

By the end of the presentation, he told us this :

I hate someone who wakes up hating what he gonna do that day. Like saying 'Ooh I got 45 patients waiting' or 'I have to go to work' and so on. You've got to love what you do and if you have, you gonna do what you love, no complaining. I wake up everyday loving what I'm gonna do. If you are passionate enough, there's gonna be a way for all obstacles.

That was a brief opinion but it has successfully knock me off my feet. He's right. I've been wrong all the time. I always wake up cursing the world, cursing the city for being such a mess, or the lecture for being so boring and difficult. Maybe, that's what makes my life so horrible.

Well done, Prof Bruce. Thank you for your advice!

Temperamen

Haloo readers...

Gw mau cerita, kemaren ada tugas MPKT-A dan gw kebagian untuk ngejelasin masalah temperamen. Tenang aja...Gw gak akan copas LTM gw disini hahaha..

temperamen itu cetak biru seseorang, kayak DNA yang ngatur watak dan karakter kita. temperamen ini adalah sesuatu yang kita dapet sejak lahir, bukan sesuatu yang kita asah atau capai sepanjang hidup. Kalau sifat yang kita latih itu namanya karakter, bukan temperamen. Nah, awalnya gw juga gak percaya ada sesuatu yang gak bisa diubah. tapi bapak David Keirsey ngomong begitu, yasudah lah...


Yaaa jadi menurut bapak Keirsey, tempermen manusia secara garis besar dikelompokin jadi 4, guardian, artisan, rationalist, dan idealist. Ternyata klasifikasi 4 temperamen ini sangat populer dan banyak digunain lohhh...!! Trus, gw iseng-iseng ngisi tesnya (bisa iikuti di sini). Hasilnya, ternyata gw adalah tipe Guardian (ISTJ). Kaget banget sih awalnya... soalnya kirain gw lebih ke rationalist atau idealist..

Kebetulan juga LTM gw kebagian ngebahas tipe guardian. Mau gak mau gw harus baca bagian guardian demi membuat LTM meskipun besok suma 1 bioselgenmol :"((. TERNYATA...... it's very interesting loh..
Setelah gw baca, ternyata memang banyak karakteristik guardian yang mirip dengan gw. Tipe guardian ini dianalogikan kayak berang-berang. Sifatnya yang paling gw inget adalah bagian "senang mengatur dan men-supervisi sesuatu, ngasih tau apa yang menurut gw benar (semacem ngasih nasihat gitu), seneng sama hal-hal dahulu (kalo di bukunya kayak gini like to remember good old days  gw bangett :") )", de el el lah yaaa kalo mau tau baca sendiri aja.. hehehe


Kenalin temperamen kita masing-masing tuh ternyata berguna juga loh (selain itu menghibur juga sih). Selain itu, gw juga dapet bahan cuap-cuap di motivational letter atau wawancara dimana gw harus mendeskripsikan Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, dan Threat (SWOT) gw. Mayann...


That's all..
Wish me success for tomorrow's examination! :)

Fear

"Once in a while this feeling comes up. A feeling of fear. I'm frightened to fail, to be the least, to disappoint, to regret, to hurt or be hurt. There's a question echoing in my mind as the time is ticking. Will I be able to get through to it like I use to do? My biggest fear."

The Power of Scent

Hello readers...!!!
Guess where I am right now!
I'm in Surabaya, the most tempting city to live in -at least for me. Yeah, I came here to visit my dearest sister. It's a kind of pity that I didn't make up my mind to follow her steps, moving here. There are lots of thing going on in Jakarta and I'm tired enough to tell even a glimpse of it now. I'm actually not supposed to be here, considering that I'm actually not in a holiday yet.

This morning, I want to tell something I've always wanted to tell you since 3 months ago. It has something to do with our special sense, odor receptor. No, I'm not gonna give you a lecture here.

So... two days ago, just after I got here, my sister and I went to a hypermarket to buy my needs, like body wash, flexible mattress, some snacks, vegetables, and drinks. I figured out a new habit that I'm doing unconsciously. In choosing what kind of soap I'd like to buy, I always smell its scent one by one. You know, I'm a person who likes to try something new, I like to try different route of going home, I also like to try different body soap. At least, every time the former one has ran out, I barely buy the same one. Thus, every different scent triggers different memories.

Do you know lux - wake me up? this one arouses a very strong memory in my brain. I bought it for my stay in Bandung for pelatnas. I remember it crystal clear, because my roommate, sifa and -if i'm not mistaken- tiwi used this soap too. So, I smell it every dawn and dusk.

If I smell it again now, all the memories of pelatnas flash back in my mind. It feels so real. you know, I think for me, odor is more powerful than sound. Of course, if I listen to certain songs, some memories will flash back too. But it's not as powerful as smell. In a second, you'd feel like as though you're there in the past.



Here's another memorable smell. Lux - magical spell. I remember that I was in the middle of intensive preparation for SNMPTN Tulis. I enrolled in two courses. Every morning until noon I studied in Pasar Minggu, then from noon till evening I studied in Tebet. Every day was a tiring day.

Any scent can powerfully evoke certain memory. Not only body soap, but scent of roses, siwak, perfume can do. It's a new effective method of reminiscing the past (if you're someone who cling to the past like me).

Have a nice holiday!!

Some Things Left Untold

Hello readers.... again, truly sorry for the long absence.
I finally feel a little bit comfort in this new, unfamiliar campus. Slowly, I get to know the pace but still struggling to keep up and blend in. I'm getting used to deadlines, going home late, busy weekends, and so on. I hope you do so with your own life, readers :)

I try so hard to post often, but it seems quite difficult with this tight schedule. wait, Nooo... it's not really that tight, maybe because I'm still a little bit, well, procrastinator, that my schedule seems to be so so. what am i talking about -____-"

I want to share my experience last Saturday.
FKUI 2012 held a gathering event last Saturday at our friend's place, Plataran Cilandak. Some of us went there by car, others by bus provided by the committee. It's a long journey from Salemba to Cilandak, no joke. But what else can we do?
We should have started at 3 but the buses hadn't come on time so we started at 4 instead. There are several performances, such as bands, solo, and traditional dance. Very interesting to know that some of us are actually talented in arts. We played games which are so FUN. For me, yeah it's very fun. It's like I finally saw one big family that I'm going to have 5 years ahead or maybe my whole life through. The place was also amazing. The decoration and atmosphere really supported us to relax and have fun. Somehow, I found it calming.

Over all, that night was superb!! Alhamdulillah... in the middle of a pile of works and lectures I have to do, Allah gave me time to relax a little while.


I wish I could share my happiness with you
You know, I always wish you happy where ever you are
That's all for now, readersss :)

An Old Song from My Childhood

Hey readers....

Last night, I went to pizza hut Matraman to buy some food for my dinner. I was so starving till my stomach hurt so bad. weird..it never happened before. They played old songs and I recognized one which my mom used to listen to when I was a kid. I've been searching for this song for a long time and tonight I finally got some clues. It was so noisy there -very noisy indeed- that I can only heard some of the lyrics. But eventually, I managed to solve the puzzle. It is a song by Randy VanWarmer, called Just When I Needed You Most.

It's a sad song actually, you can see from its lyrics. Apart from that, listening to this old song reminding me of my childhood. I was an elementary student. My mom liked to play this song loudly every time I got home..




You left in the rain without closing the door, I didn't stand in your way
Now I love you more than I loved you before and now
Where I'll find comfort, God knows
Cause you left me just when I needed you most

yap, it's a sad song indeed.. But I'm happy I've finally found it.

The First Month of Being a Freshman

Readers.....

Gw lagi galau banget. Galau tentang kuliah. Kuliah itu tugasnya banyak ya... Sebenernya pas SMA udah banyak sih, tapi entah kenapa kuliah ini ngingetin gw sama pelatnas. haaa traumatic banget. tugas kuliah gw banyak yang dikumpul via internet dan itu sangat menyebalkan.

Pas SMA, gw pengeeeen banget kuliah. bahkan berjuang mati-matian buat masuk. Trus sekarang pas udah masuk dan ngerasain gimana kuliah, malah pengen libur. dasar manusia -____-"

Semoga kuliah gw lancar.. amiin...
Semoga kehidupan kampus menjadi menyenangkan... amiiin
Semoga gw bisa ketemu sama anak-anak yang merasa senasib sama gw dan kita bisa berjuang bareng. amiin

Oh iya, kakak gw yang di Unair udah balik ke sana. Abang gw lagi pindahan minggu ini. Fix di rumah cuma ada gw, kak oi, mama, dan papa. Itu artinya fix gw gak mau ngekos. Oke, ini terkesan manja tapi gw emang gak pernah berniat meninggalkan rumah ini. Sedih adalah ketika lw menyaksikan perubahan yang drastis terhadap suatu hal. Dulu, pas gw masih SD, rumah ini rame banget. Kakak-kakak gw masih pada sekolah. Kita sering jalan-jalan bareng. Trus satu-satu, mereka pergi. Kuliah yang jauh, nambah tua, dan nambah dewasa. Sedangkan gw stuck di sini, nyaksiin lambat laun rumah ini jadi sepi. Gw kangen masa kecil. Masa-masa gak ada beban. hahahahaha sumpah ini manja banget. Mungkin kakak gw bener, gw anak yang paling manja di antara mereka semua.

sekarang, secara hukum gw udah gede. Udah punya tanggung jawab sendiri. Hidup gw ya gw yang jalanin, gw yang nentuin pilihan. Kadang, rasanya gw pengen sekaliiii aja nyante dalam ngelakuin sesuatu. Ngelakuin apa yang gw pengen, sesuka hati gw. Hanya "ingin", tapi gw sadar, itu bakal jadi kesenangan sementara. Gak ada yang pasti di dunia ini. Yang pasti hanya Allah.

Yaudah lah ya.... jalanin aja dulu masa-masa ini sebisa gw. Gw akan mencoba untuk melakukan yang terbaik. hasilnya? gak ada pilihan lain selain nyerahin semuanya ke Allah. Ya, seperti yang pernah gw bilang, "I'm just an actor following her director's orders". Semoga gw bisa memainkan peran gw dengan baik kali ini. Amiiin..

Wish me the best :")

Ragu

Pernah kualami, dulu...
Aku berada di antara dua sisi yang berbeda
Keadaan ketika aku harus bersikap
Haruskah aku menuju sisi yang putih itu?
Atau mengikuti keinginanku menuju sisi lain yang hitam?

Akan tetapi, diamku dalam beku
Terlalu lama aku berpikir
Terlalu lama menetap dalam zona kelabu
Hingga keadaanlah yang memaksaku bersikap
Menentukan akhir kisah itu

Saat dilemma ini datang kembali
kukira aku sudah belajar dari masa laluku
kukira aku sudah cukup dewasa untuk mengambil keputusan
aku tak ingin mengecewakan siapapun 
termasuk engkau dan diriku

Engkau sendiri yang telah merasakan keraguan pada diri ini
bahwasanya aku terkesan maju-mundur, aku pun tahu
aku bukannya melakukan ini tanpa sadar
ragu selalu membayangiku

aku mengerti jika engkau ingin menghapusku
ini kesalahanku, aku bersedia menanggung semua risiko
aku mungkin telah mengecewakan dirimu
atau bahkan diriku sendiri
entahlah...

Jika hal ini terulang kembali
Bolehkah aku meminta tolong?
Cambuk aku dengan nasihat yang keras
Usir aku dari sisi kelabu ini
agar aku tak mengecewakan siapapun lagi
agar aku tak mengecewakanmu lagi

Another Story of Ramadhan

Readers, besok insya Allah udah lebaran nih. Gak kerasa banget yah :""). Jadi, alhamdulillah semua kegiatan di bulan Ramadhan ini kelar juga. Dari mulai Registrasi, latihan padus, OBM, PSAF. Gw dilemma antara mau fokus ke Ramadhan atau ke kegiatan-kegiatan itu. Walhasil, dua-duanya nggak maksimal. Terlalu banyak waktu yang terbuang percuma dalam hal ketaatan. Kalo dalam hal pengalaman dan pengetahuan sih, insya Allah nambah banget. Tapi yaa gitu.. sedih.

Ramadhan kali ini ternyata juga mempunyai kisah, sob. Bukan maksud ngecap Ramadhan dengan memori buruk, tapi kenyataannya pas Ramadhan emang banyak cobaan. Untungnya cobaan itu selalu ditutup dengan keceriaan senyum di hari yang fitri.

Semoga besok semua bisa tersenyum menang lagi.
Semoga di hari mendatang, tak ada kesempatan yang terbuang lagi.
Semoga ketika ruh ini meninggalkan jasadnya, tak ada penyesalan lagi.

Mungkinkah? Apakah gw terlalu idealis?

Ramadhan itu seperti benteng yang memagari diri. Selepas daripadanya, benteng itu perlahan-lahan luntur. Mampukah benteng itu berdiri sampai Ramadhan kembali?
Akan kah gw menyambut Ramadhan tahun depan bersama orang-orang yang gw sayangi?
Atau kah... ia takkan pernah datang lagi?

Gw nggak bisa menyalahkan siapapun atas apa yang terjadi. Apa yang kita jalani itu pilihan kita masing-masing. Pilihan gw jugalah untuk nggak maksimal dalam Ramadhan kali ini. Sebenernya gw bisa memilih untuk fokus ke Ramadhan. Asal gw bersedia bermasalah, dicaci, atau dicap macem-macem sama orang lain. Kekecewaan muncul kepada diri ini bahwa ternyata gw masih memilih untuk bersembunyi dalam zona aman. Itu semua pilihan. Pilihan....

Ramadhan

Marhaban Yaa Ramadhan ({})


Selamat datang, Ramadhan!
Semoga bulan ini menjadi bulan yang penuh berkah dan bisa menjadikan kita orang yang taat beribadah kepada Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Amiin.


Sayangnya, kegiatan kuliah sudah mulai di bulan ini. Awalnya gw harap, ospek dan segala macemnya mulai abis lebaran aja.. biar Ramadhannya gak terganggu. mau gimana lagi? takdir berkata lain. semoga semua berjalan lancar, Yaa Allah.. amiin

ooOoo

ngomong-ngomong tentang Ramadhan, gw jadi inget 3 Ramadhan terakhir nih.. 

1. Ramadhan tahun 2009 

    Ini pas gw masih kelas X-H. Gw masih ingeet banget, waktu itu abis sahur, gw gak tidur lagi gara-gara belajar buat TF PKn :"). Ini masa-masa gelisah, takut, segala macem nyampur jadi satu.. yaa namanya juga semester pertama di SMA 8. Trus gw ikut sanlat, acaranya rohis smandel, berkenang banget deh..

2. Ramadhan tahun 2010

   Ini Ramadhan ter-banyak-cobaan-nya yang pernah gw alamin. Kenapa? soalnya di bulan ini dateng tugas-tugas pelatnas. masih inget banget, gw ngerjain tugas pertama (ekologi) di bulan Ramadhan ini. Mana nggak ngerti apa-apa. -___-" trus nanya ke siapa pun, gak ada yang ngerti juga. I was all alone and very afraid. sampe rasanya pengen nangis tapi ditahan-tahan. gak banget deh.

   Di sini gw udah masuk XI IPA C loh. tapi pas ini gw belom terlalu deket sama mereka. Ya soalnya baru beberapa minggu masuk kelas... Bahkan masih ada beberapa anak yg gw gak tau namanya HAHAHA *parah banget*. 

3. Ramadhan tahun 2011

   Nah, ini Ramadhan juga lumayan banyak cobaannya. -___-" kenapa? soalnya udah kelas 12 dan TF datang bertubi-tubi. yang paling gw inget sih.. PKn (kenapa harus selalu pkn???!!). trus ada matematika integral, biologi pertumbuhan dan perkembangan, sama kimia koligatif.

    Di Ramadhan ini udah masuk XII IPA G *unyuuu*. selain mikirin TF, pikiran gw juga bercabang ke Marathon MIPA waktu itu.. mana gak ada yang urusin.. puyeng deh beneran waktu itu! 

    Uniknya lagi, di Ramadhan kali ini gw tinggal berdua doang sama kak oi tercinta selama kurang lebih 2 minggu. Kak Gina dan mama lagi di Surabaya ngurusin kuliah de el el, papa lagi kerja di Pangandaran, dan abang beserta kak dinda tinggal di jl Siaga (soalnya kak dinda lagi hamil tua wktu itu, jadi ngeri juga kalo ditinggal sendiri). Akhirnya, unyu moment lah sama kak oi ({}). Dari mulai bersih-bersih rumah bareng2, nyuci bareng2, belanjaaaa!!, masaaakk!!, nyoba bikin kue tapi gagal .__., ikut ke kampus kakak gw dan ikut dengerin omelan dosen radon nya, nyetir mobil gantian, sahur pake keripik setan -___-", cemacem lahh..!! hahaa.. love u soo much my sist <3

     Trus abis Ramadhan ini, Rafasya lahiirrrr.... >> makanya gw bolos halalbihalal hari pertama masuk setelah libur lebaran hahaha... padahal udah pake seragam lengkap, eh ditelpun katanya udah mau lahir. Yaudah, langsung cau ke RS YPK deh..

      Ramadhan ini walaupun awalnya gelisah karena banyak TF, tapi ngangenin.. kangen IPA G, kangen SMA... semua emang gak bisa diputer ulang ya.. hidup itu gak kayak film.. gak bisa direwind, fastforward, stop, atau pause.. astaghfirullahal 'adziim..

Semoga Ramadhan kali ini juga berkesan. tapi kesannya bagus. Aamiin Yaa Rabbal 'alamin :)

Selamat berpuasa :)

Alhamdulillah

Hello readers..
sorry for the long absence.

Last week, snmptn result was announced..
Alhamdulillah I get admitted to Faculty of Medicine, University of Indonesia 2012

At first, I wanted to see the result after taking SIMAK. But it seemed like I was very curious. And then, while i was waiting for the slow internet connection to get faster, Rhesa called. He said he found my name on the list, but he wasn't sure which university I'm accepted in (the result was actually written in code).

it turned out that my internet connection never got better.. several minutes later, my sister called me. She told me that I get admitted at my first-choice university.

Well, I thought I could surprise my family if I get accepted.
In fact, it is my family who surprised me..


Anyway, I'm so grateful..
Alhamdulillah..
thanks for everything, yaa Allah..

I hope I can be a helpful doctor someday :)

Just Do What You're Comfortable With

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--which is: Try to please everybody.

  -  Herbert Bayard Swope


Readers...
I think that quotation is true. If we try to please everybody, we may fail.
Just do what you want to do. But that doesn't mean you can cross the rules.

If you busy pleasing everybody, you may end up hurting yourself for being unhappy.

Ready to Face The Outside World

Hey readers....

I've been thinking about it. If I don't get accepted in UI and I have to move out to another city, I will accept it as a challenge.

I really want to go to UI soooooo bad. So so so bad, I've never even thought of going to another university. But now... I'm not sure about my snmptn result. It's not really promising. Although I still hope for some miracles to happen, I kinda start opening my mind.

UI is not the only place to be a successful doctor. There are so many other universities in Indonesia which have as high qualification as UI.

I know I really want to have that prestigious yellow jacket. but.. after thinking about it. Who cares about the yellow jacket anyway? that just makes you feel proud and big headed.

If I get accepted in UI, I'll be undoubtedly grateful. But if I don't, I will do my best in anyplace I'm accepted in. I promise, I will make that which-ever-university-I'm-accepted-in proud and happy to have me as their student.  I won't go down, I won't give up. I know I have the potential to be a neuro surgeon someday. I just have to keep trying and do my best. Most importantly, I will never give up.


I'm looking forward to hearing the good news on 7th July, either mine or my friends'.
Bismillah.....

Pemberian Penghargaan

Readers, hari ini gw dan orang tua diundang ke aula gedung Dinas Pendidikan DKI Jakarta di jalan Gatot Subroto. Acara ini diselenggarain dalam rangka memberikan penghargaan kepada 10 siswa yang nilai UN-nya tertinggi se-DKI Jakarta. Di surat undangannya tertulis mulai pukul 14.00. Lalu diralat menjadi pukul 13.00.

Gw dan mama langsung chau dari BTA ke sana melewati jalan yang supermacet. Abang gw yang kantornya di Citra Graha -dekat gedung Dinas Pendidikan DKI Jakarta- pun dateng. yaa buat liat-liat aja. Pukul 13.00 gw sampe di sana dan langsung sholat. Awalnya gw kira gw udah telat soalnya di sana udah banyak yang dateng. Tetapi.....

20 menit kemudian.....

yak, panitianya nyetel film national geographic tentang semrawutnya kota Jakarta. lumayan deh buat hiburan

40 menit kemudian......

ini mana yaa...?? kok gak mulai-mulai..??

pembicaraan gw sama charles (temen seperjuangan biologi yang diundang juga) yang awalnya hot tentang SNMPTN undangan jadi alot gara-gara gatau lagi mau ngomongin apa.
Saat itu Charles mengungkapkan kekesalannya dengan sistem pendidikan Indonesia. Secara, dia udah dapet medali perak IBO dan peringkat 2 angkatan tetapi gak diterima SNMPTN undangan. Yang dapet malah anak aksel *ups* yang katanya pas ujian semester ngitung volume kurva pake integral aja masih bingung. HAHAHA.. how pathetic this country is.

akhirnya dengan durasi ngaret satu setengah jam, acara pun dimulai.

Acara diawali dengan pidato Bapak Kepala Dinas Pendidikan. Lalu pemberian piagam dan hadiah berupa laptop untuk peringkat 1 tiap-tiap kelompok sekolah negeri dan swasta. Daaann.... yang bikin nyesek adalah nilai UN gw dan Charles sama, 58.20. Tapi...................yang dapet laptop Charles. kenapa?? karena nilai bahasa Indonesianya lebih tinggi dari gw :""""""

oh well... I've felt it before.. when Sifa got gold medal and I just got silver although our score only differed by 0.5 or something... my heart like "cracked". And the worst was... that year, for every gold medallion, BNI gave an additional five-million-rupiah, so the total amount they got was 10 million rupiah while I just got 4.

Gw yakin ini salah satu ujian sabar hehe.... dan gw yakin gw akan dapet sesuatu yang lebih baik dan lebih gw butuhkan daripada itu. Allah punya rencana lain. Allah tau, gw gak butuh laptop. Gw yakin semua yang terjadi mempunyai alasan. Gw hanya berharap kejadian ini enggak terulang lagi untuk SNMPTN tulis.. Aamiin...

Tomorrow

Hi readers....

It's been a week since SNMPTN. It doesn't mean I can rest, though. I still have to work hard, just in case something unpredictable happens. Well, I hope nothing goes wrong. I hope I get accepted in a state university through SNMPTN.

Lately, I've been thinking. Are all these efforts worth-doing? Because I'm afraid what I've been doing all this time is just a waste of time. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I want to pretend like I don't care about a single thing of my future or what I'll be doing tomorrow, but I cant! No matter how people tell me to stop worrying, I can't order my brain to stop thinking about it! Sometimes I feel like exploding and my head will start beating. I know it's not a good habit to keep but I don't think I ever gonna be able to get rid of it. I kinda inherit it from my father. It's not that I blame him. No.

Every time I think about what I've been doing all this time, my eyes wet. With the pain I bear, do I still not have a bigger chance to have a better place? do I still not deserve to get a proper result? What if the terms applied for me is "hard work is inversely proportional to the result?". I know I may sound arrogant for thinking that I deserve more than anyone else. Yes, I know it's also selfish. You may also start to hate me after reading this post. I know the consequences.

But I feel miserable and I don't want to hold it much longer. I wanna go to an ocean and scream out loud.


But I have to endure it. I have to... just a little bit longer.. endure it!
Cause I believe in happy endings
and I believe in Allah's miracles.

Wisuda SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta Angkatan 2012

Readerss.....

Posting kali ini tentang wisuda SMAN 8 Jakarta angkatan 2012. Maaf agak sedikit telat karena gw harus siap-siap SNMPTN dua minggu terakhir ini.

Jadi, pada tanggal 26 Mei 2012 lalu 100% siswa SMAN 8 Jakarta angkatan 2012 dinyatakan lulus. SMAN 8 menempati peringkat ke-2 se-DKI untuk kategori SMA negeri. Tanggal 29 Mei nya diadakan pelepasan (wisuda) di Balai Sudirman.

Ceritanya nih men-temen, kepala Sekolah a.k.a Bu Wieke, udah dari dulu nyuruh kita milih satu warna untuk jadi dresscode kelas pas wisuda. Setelah galau antara broken white dan ijo telor asin, akhirnya kelas gw memilih broken white dengan pertimbangan sehabis wisuda langsung nikah massal #ups. ya secara warnanya putih gitu.. hahaha...

Acara wisudanya mulai pukul 07.30 pagi daaan... gw telat -.- padahal berangkat dari rumah udah jam 6. yeaa.. telat 15 menit doang sih.. but still :(
pas nyampe sana, XII IPA G lagi jalan menuju kursi masing-masing. Trus gw kalap, pake acara salah alamat pula.. malah nyasar ke kelas inter. itu malu-maluin bgtt :">

Alhamdulillah wisuda kali ini berjalan lancar seperti pas SMP dulu :) hehehe
dulu pas SMP, cuma mama yang ikut. sekarang, papa ikutan juga.

Wisuda SMP Labschool Jakarta Angkatan 15 Tahun 2009

Wisuda SMAN 8 Jakarta Tahun 2012

sama mama

sama papa, mama, bu elly (wali kelas gw dan temen SMP nya papa), dan miss nanie

sama papa dan mama 

Semua ini gak akan bisa tercapai tanpa Allah subhanahu wata'ala. Tanpa ilmu dari-Nya, kita gak berarti apa-apa. Dan Dia dapat sewaktu-waktu mencabut ilmu ini dari kita.

Gw juga berterima kasih sama papa mama yang selalu mensupport gw. selalu memotivasi gw saat gw down. Abang gw yang udah memberikan contoh baik buat adek-adeknya dan sering ngajarin gw fisika. Kakak-kakak gw yang sering gw tanyain juga dan selalu ngebantu gw. Guru-guru SMAN 8 Jakarta yang udah sabar ngajarin gw. Temen-temen yang mau ngejelasin banyak materi ke gw, khusunya via whatsapp. wkwkwk..

doakan agar gw diterima di PTN yang gw pilih (semoga pilihan pertama) dan bisa menggapai cita-cita gw.. Aamiiin :")